How Study Abroad Helped Me Overcome Anxiety
I was a freshman in high school when I learned that college students could choose to study in a foreign country. From that moment, I knew that I wanted to take advantage of the incredible opportunity and anticipated the day that I would embark on my own adventure abroad. When that day finally arrived, and I flew off to London, my anxiety intensified. I couldn’t help but worry that somehow I was going to mess this opportunity up. Somehow, I was going to make the wrong decisions and prevent myself from having the experience of a lifetime.
Now, some of you may find this fear ridiculous. You may wonder how on earth five and a half months in the vibrant city of London could be anything but the experience of a lifetime. However if, like me, you suffer from anxiety, you may understand better. My anxiety often leads to a lot of questioning and a lot of self-doubt. On a daily basis, I ask myself whether or not I studied enough for an exam. I question my word choice during a conversation or second-guess my weekend plans.
My Anxiety Told Me I was Missing Out
While abroad, the questions multiplied and the stakes felt even higher. I preferred the atmosphere at small pubs, but wondered if I was missing out on London nightclubs. I was really interested in spending quality time exploring the city of London, but also worried that I hadn’t made enough travel plans. My classes excited and intrigued me, but sometimes I panicked that I was too invested in academics. Suddenly, I was questioning all of my decisions abroad. Instead of enjoying the present moment, I was thinking about the future. I was considering whether or not I would regret or revel in that moment years from now. Social media certainly didn’t ease these feelings. Dozens of peers from my home institution were also studying abroad that semester and I found myself comparing their experiences to my own. When I came across photos of them at massive raves, my countless nights at a local haunt called The Thirsty Bear seemed mediocre. I noticed that some of my friends were in a different country every weekend while I merely explored a new borough of London. They certainly didn’t post as many photos of libraries or book shops as I did. After considering their experiences and comparing them to my own, a scary question formed in my mind:Was I doing study abroad wrong?As someone who had looked forward to studying abroad for years, this was an overwhelming thought and one that I didn’t want to continue thinking for five and a half months.