How to Tell Your Immigrant Family You Want to Study Abroad

If you come from an immigrant family, you can understand how intimidating it can be to tell them that you want to study abroad. Moving to a different country sounds less fun and exciting to many immigrant parents. It can also sound dangerous and unnecessary. Many immigrant parents have come to their new country under unfortunate circumstances, which can affect their perspective when it comes to supporting their child, who wants to study in a different country.

My father came to the U.S. at age 14. He speaks about the challenges he faced, such as not knowing the language, the customs, the cultural references, the academics, and many more. So, when I told him I wanted to move across the sea, he was fearful. I had to strategize about how to go about approaching the subject.

Why do you want to study abroad?

While studying abroad is exciting, fun, and adventurous, it is also a reflective experience. You begin to reflect the moment you decide you want to do this. This is an experience that takes planning, motivation, and perseverance. It is important to know why you want to study abroad because there will be many challenges, and you will have to remind yourself why you wanted to do this in the first place.

This is a good way to begin a conversation with your parents and explain why this is something you are passionate about. Tell them what you could learn, why you would enjoy it, and how you believe this experience will help you. I found that sharing my aspirations with my parents helped them understand why I wanted to do something so intimidating.

Explaining the process to a family unfamiliar with university

The next part of the conversation will most likely involve the how, where, and when. My family is unfamiliar with almost all aspects of university, which meant I had to explain how the study abroad process works. This is a vital part of the conversation, and it is best to be patient and try to answer all their questions. The more they know, the fewer doubts they may have.

When I mentioned study abroad to my parents, they immediately asked, “How do you do that?” I was interested in an IFSA program in the UK, so I showed my parents the details of what the program included. I explained the first steps:

1. Meeting with staff at my university and asking if I qualify to study abroad

2. Finding a program that meets my needs

3. Applying to the program

4. Waiting for approval

5. If approved, following the program’s next steps.

This helped my parents understand the process better.

How can I include my family in this experience?

As first-generation students take on new experiences and pave new ways, there is often a disconnect with our families. We are limited to people who can relate to our experiences, especially our family. The best way to get your parents on board with your dream of studying abroad is to include them in your journey. Here are some ways to include your family and get them excited for you, while keeping your independence:

1. Share your reasons.

2. Tell them why you want to go to your chosen country.

3. Keep them informed with applications, academics, and program news.

4. Allow them to help you in the ways they want to.

The best way to help your family feel more connected is by including them in both the good and hard parts. They may not know a lot about applications or university academics, but they do want to help, whether that includes listening, making a packing list, or helping you decide what country you want to go to. My father and mother wanted to be included in these life-changing experiences in any way they could.

To sum up, studying abroad is an intimidating experience for first-generation students, especially if you come from an immigrant family. But you can navigate these conversations to help your parents understand the vision you have for your future. It can be a delicate conversation and it’s important to have information and answers ready for your parents.

Julisa Ochoa | Arizona State | University of Edinburgh Partnership | IFSA First-Generation Scholarship recipient | Fall 2024