Discovering My Sexual Identity Abroad
First Impressions
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Friend & Host Family Relationships
I think it was confusing for some of the friends I made at the beginning to see another one of their friends and I be together. I tried to focus on how I was feeling and not how others perceived me. At times it was frustrating because it felt like I had to take into![](https://ifsa-butler.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Simmons5-300x224.jpg)
Overall Climate in Chile Towards LGBTQ+ Community
I never felt scared or nervous to hold my partner’s hand or to touch her in public in Chile, however, this may be because this was new for me. I had never experienced discrimination, violence, or harassment due to my sexual identity because I had previously identified publicly as straight. In the city of Valparaíso where I studied, there seemed to be a visible queer population. The city had many queer bars and clubs and this was a nice reminder of Valparaíso being very queer friendly. One of my friends would always say that Valparaíso was a lesbian safe haven.![](https://ifsa-butler.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Simmons1-300x174.jpg)
A Roller Coaster of Emotions
Looking back now, it is easy for me to warn against starting a relationship abroad, because it is going to end in heartbreak. But you can’t predict when these things happen, so I just took it one day at a time. It’s true that my time abroad was some of the happiest months of my life. As time to leave grew closer and closer, I began to have panic attacks because of my anxieties about leaving and the uncertainty of what was going to happen to my relationship. Again, thankfully I had incredible friends to talk to who took care of me. Coming back to the US was an incredibly difficult transition. Heartbreak is no fun. What helped me cope was reaching out to my friends from home, from school, from Chile and my family for support. Talking about how I felt instead of feeling sad and keeping that to myself was most helpful for me. Chile has a special place in my heart because of all the friends I made there and the relationship I enjoyed while abroad. It was a place where I discovered a new part of my identity and this was not always easy to explain to my family members back home and I wasn’t always comfortable sharing with friends from home when they would ask questions. My experience created a lot of questions for myself that I will have to continue to explore.Today
The first few weeks were very hard being back in the US. Being back at my home university was overwhelming because I was hyper aware of how I was being perceived by others. I constantly felt uncomfortable. It was also hard because I did not have the person I![](https://ifsa-butler.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Simmons2-300x292.jpg)